I seriously thought not working the regular 40-hour grind would mean I'd get a lot more home projects done and have much more time with my kids. Umm, not true. Maybe it's because I am looking for work, and it's not like that doesn't take time.
But I fantasized that I'd have a perfect home by now, at least half a manuscript done (isn't every journalist a wannabe novelist?) and so many mom-son/mom-daughter days under my belt that my kids would tell me to leave them alone. I'm not quite as far along as I hoped. It just seems something always comes up to wreck my plans. Or maybe I'm wasting too much time catching up on things I didn't have time to do, like read, watch TV, exercise, cook (not buy take-out), dance with my daughter, etc. Is it really wasting time? Or am I finally making time for me?
I have managed to cross off some home organization projects. I won't feel embarrassed if someone just drops in...well, unless they see my kids' rooms or my garage. And I've been much more on top of homework. I don't think some teachers like me now. Kidding...maybe. I just wanted more done.
I don't know why I question my time spent. I know many moms who do the same thing. But I'm no Peggy Bundy. I'm not eating candy and watching daytime TV while the kids are in school. Reading more will help me with my book. Lunch with friends will possibly lead to that next great job. Exercising keeps me healthy. And an active weekend is good for all of us, and it keeps the house from getting messed up!
Still, I pray for an extra hour. I ask myself if I'd use it for tackling another project. Nope. I'd use it for sleep and me time. So why am I complaining?
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