My daughter is at that age where mom is increasingly less cool. Hanging out to talk just doesn't happen as often. So to connect, I've started going on walks with her. Our latest adventure was walking to a nearby coffee/bagel shop. Instead of jumping in the car, we opted for a brisk walk — gotta walk off at least a few of those calories. The walk also gave us an extra 15-20 minutes together.
We're doing walks around our neighborhood, too. I claim it's for exercise, but it's really to spend time together. We talk about nonsense, but also about friends and school.
I force myself to just listen and only advise when she asks for help. I also try not to judge. I do, however, ask questions to make her think about whatever issue she's dealing with at the moment. I'll throw out questions such as:
-How would you feel if that happened to you?
-Why do you think that happened?
-Would you change how you dealt with that issue?
-Were you bothered by how that was handled?
-Did you think that was weird?...Cool? Fun? Worth it?
I also give her kudos for sharing, and if I think she's handled a situation the best way possible.
And if she asks me if I've ever dealt with XYZ, I answer her question with honesty, but also any lessons learned. I'm thinking the questions will be getting harder very soon.
Here's hoping she keeps wanting to go on these walks.
Cheers!
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